Unexpected Expenses

By now, you've read up on all of the horror stories about the expense of having a child with Autism. You may have priced the added expense of TEFRA, extra therapies like ABA or Hippotherapy, even the costs of therapy swings and trampolines, but there is a lurker in your madness.

Ian loves to spin things, clap, and above all jump. He will spin ANYTHING and things you thought were indestructible suddenly aren't. My parents have a brass singing bowl (used for meditation). We are talking solid brass. This bowl was amazing at gouging furniture when spun with alacrity. Furniture, dishes, knickknacks, plastic cups, DVDs, watering cans!, TV remotes, and lamp shades are all just some of the things spun to extinction around here. Constant clapping has lead to earplugs, mittens, tons of lotion for chapped hands from clapping, but nothing major there as far as being costly unless you count being boxed from trying to stop him.

By far, the most expensive is the jumping. Oh the wonders of jumping. It all starts with a jumperoo. Soon, you buy a trampoline. Eventually, you are buying new crib mattresses every month or so. Sure, they are under warranty, but you can't just take them back to the store for a new one. You have to contact the manufacturer and send them the old one, so you need at least two to rotate out as they jump through the lining time and time again. Also, you get to buy springs for the crib base on a monthly basis as those wear out too. This applies to toddler beds as they also use the base and crib mattresses. Then, before you know it, you are out buying yet another new couch as yours has ripped to shreds and become impossibly lumpy as the trampoline is NEVER enough(and you will be replacing those too btw). One day, you are wondering what is happening to your house. You see, when you live in a late 1960s house with a crawlspace and have a now 60lb 4yr old jumping for all he's worth for 4-5hrs a day at about one jump per second (that's 18,000 jumps a day, folks!), it is like a tremor of a minor earthquake with every jump. Things begin to move. Suddenly, all of that careful caulking around built-in bookshelves and around windows and even sheetrock above doorways begins to crack. You are terrified to look under the house at the joists.

You will find yourself buying every toy you can find in the hopes that maybe it will be something that will engage your child and even possibly get them to interact with you. You may even be in the position where you will spend any amount of money in order for them to entertain themselves for 10min so that you can regain some sanity (or a shower). You tip the hair stylist double for putting up with the fighting. In fact, any tipping is pretty much doubled because of the racket and/or mess and lack of eating. Oh yes, forgot to mention that one. Ian almost doesn't eat anything ever. If we want to eat out, the only way is and iPad and Skittles and sippy cup (which we go through 3-4 of per week as he chews them up, but refuses to drink out of anything else) containing his specific brand of orange juice since that is all he will ingest. No longer do I even bother ordering him his own fun plates of food. Of course, with every meal I offer him a bite of everything on mine, but he always refuses. Oh and we are also on our second iPad (long story there, but it was beginning to fail after having the power cord jerked out multiple times and multiple cords).

Some things are actually cheaper. Because of his diagnosis, we have to pay a small monthly fee for TEFRA and his schooling is covered by them. So, he will go to private school more or less for extremely cheap (at least through pre-k and further if we want to drive a bit). He doesn't care about his clothes, so Walmart or Target duds are a-ok for him. He doesn't talk and doesn't have a bunch of fluctuating interests, so no gimme gimme on toys with the exception of Yo Gabba Gabba merch (or occasionally Mickey Mouse) which is rather difficult to find for some reason even though it keeps winning awards. He doesn't like birthday parties, so no big expense there either. He won't even eat the cake! He really is not interested in the bigger kid toys like the ride-on jeeps, so no reason to buy those. He doesn't pretend play at all, so no need for those toys either. Ian is at his happiest when you roughhouse and engage him in active play (no toys required!) and unless you factor in Tylenol and medical massages from flinging 60lbs of solid muscle around, it's totally free.